Woody, Trevor and Dr. Sexy have all returned to DDO. Being that I’m a little girl when it comes to peer pressure, I had no choice but to follow them. Because, hey, the COOL KIDS are doing it, and I want desperately to fit in! Of course if I knew the trouble I was going to have, I probably should have passed. Aw, who am I kidding, the trouble’s the best part!
I think I’m getting old.
No, no, it’s true. Suddenly it seems like I’m a cranky, difficult-to-please grumpy jerk.
I suppose I first noticed it when the whole ‘Bottom’ fiasco was going on. But now… now, I find myself dissatisfied with the quality of a game. For ….
I shouldn’t be left unattended.
I don’t know how many times I tell people this, but nobody listens to me.
“Don’t leave me alone!” I say. “Something’s going to explode!” I say. “I like to play with matches!” I say. But does anyone listen? Oh, no, they’re ….
I’m worse than Pavlov’s dog, honestly.
I’m like Daffy Duck in the one cartoon – where as soon as someone rings a bell, he goes nuts and begins swinging at everything near him? Only I get beat up a LOT more.
The problem is that I’m conditioned ….
You give a monster a name, and the stupid thing rules a town.
And to make matters worse, the thing’s got a girly name – Susanne or something – not even a proper evil woman’s name, like Evillynne or Elvira or even Joan Rivers.
But I’m getting ….
Hrm. Apparently, you mooks are out of control.
See, Sanya recently cornered me. She said it was either talk to her about the name change, or she threatened to teleport me to the Mid capital city.
After the sixteenth time of me turning up at the bindstone ….
See, if Mac hadn’t bragged about being good, then everyone wouldn’t be under the mistaken assumption that I am at least passably good. As in, I may have passed someone that was good once or twice in the hallway.
I feel bad for the folks at ….
I just don’t understand it.
I mean, unless you plan for failure – wouldn’t you sort of expect a lot of people to be in your game? And, I dunno, call me crazy – but wouldn’t you want to sort of support all those people in ….
Saying that thieves aren’t trusted is like saying that sometimes I die.
Now that I’ve finally gained level 10 and figured out where the heck I needed to go to get trained, I’m officially a thief.
The problem is, when you’re a thief, you’re instantly at fault ….
Ohhhhhhhh, nooooooooooo – don’t listen to ME!
How long have I been telling you all? How many times did I try and raise an army to protect our lands, only to lose the members to quests, portal storms, or really interesting-looking mountains that looked like someone’s ….
Apparently, the people at Ubi Soft are mathematicians of some sort. They subscribe to the theory that
A) The shortest distant between two points is a straight line
And, therefore, it logically follows that:
B) When a player clicks someplace they want to go, they ….
