Stepping Beyond the Norm, Here…

See, if Mac hadn’t bragged about being good, then everyone wouldn’t be under the mistaken assumption that I am at least passably good. As in, I may have passed someone that was good once or twice in the hallway.

I feel bad for the folks at ACRevolution.  I don’t know why they thought this, but they were under the impression that having me on their team to fight against the Turbies would be a treat. About 20 team kills later, they’ve quickly decided that they were, indeed, misinformed.

I don’t know where the Turbies kept hiding. It seemed that even if I sat back at the base, broadcasting inspiring messages (“First one to capture an enemy base gets to buy me dinner!” and “You can’t spell TEAM without M-E!” and my favorite, “You miserable scumbags! Don’t try or anything! I’m sure if God had wanted you to capture a flag he would’ve magicked you a flag!”), some Turbie would come charging through the base and kill me. And not just run up and shot me, either. First they’d run up, demonstrate very clearly that they were putting away their gun and pulling out a knife, and then chase me around and stab me in the face. The entire time, mind you, I’m firing more shots than Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone, maybe even Bruce Willis combined, and not only am I not killing them, I’m not even coming close to them. They just keep chasing me, licking their knives and giggling. Now I know how a pint of Ben & Jerry’s must feel when it sees me bearing down on it.

Personally, I think they cheat. There’s no other possible explanation for their winning streak. Obviously, they use Gear. At one point I emptied a full magazine at Muggz, and damn if he didn’t just look at the bullets and make them stop in mid-air. He’s like NeoMuggz or something. I was just waiting for him to start acting badly and Lawrence Fishbourne to show up or something.

So what’s the lesson we learned here, kids? If you want me to help you, the best way is to have me play for the opposing team!

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