Unlucky day, huh? I guess so, as it found me hunting with Bats. He said he was going to power-level me. Unfortunately, whatever wacky tongue he speaks (New Jersien?) doesn't translate well into English, because I think the phrase he was looking for was "get me killed in a most horrific manner." You would think …
Category: AC1
Asheron’s Call 1
Going To The Chapel, And I’m… Getting Beat to Death…
So my job in this whole mess is to... erm... Actually, I'm not sure WHAT they were thinking inviting me along. See, Wippitah and Serila were getting married. Don't ask me why, but they thought it'd be a fun idea to have me there as the official Ticket Taker. That's not exactly a role I'm …
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An Intellectual Pursuit…
It starts off innocently enough: "You're not so smart! I could beat you at anything!""Oh really? How about a nice game of chess?""You're on!...wait...is chess the one with the round things? Red and black?" See, A' and I were having a little "professional disagreement." I felt that as his vassal, it was my job to …
Okay, the Bandies Just Downright Scare Me…
Okay, I'll admit it, I've been out of the loop for a bit. But when exactly did they put in the patch that turned all the Banderling Guards into rejects from the Ziegfried and Roy show? I mean, guys, really - purple leotards? Who made this decision? What, are we trying for the Vegas angle …
This Is A Sick Joke, Right?
Um... Don't get me wrong. I like the game. I absolutely ADORE my fellow players. Yes, YOU, you big snuffleumpagus! *HUG* Okay, that's getting a bit carried away. I certainly do like going and getting Quix good and drunk so I can take funny pics of him. But...a LARP? What the hell was someone thinking? …
Shadow, Shmadow, Looks Bright Enough To Me!
This event has blown my mind. I actually knew about the Shadow Worlds MANY moons ago - like back in the Sentinels and Advocates days. They existed back then. Sometimes one of the admins would get a little crazy and do something wacky like make everyone 20th level. But now... Now, there are SOOOO many …
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Hey, YOU Left the Door Unlocked!
I shouldn't be left unattended. I don't know how many times I tell people this, but nobody listens to me. "Don't leave me alone!" I say. "Something's going to explode!" I say. "I like to play with matches!" I say. But does anyone listen? Oh, no, they're all like, "Ok, that's funny - now would …
Talk About Ruling a Town With an Iron Fist… How About a DIAMOND Fist?
You give a monster a name, and the stupid thing rules a town. And to make matters worse, the thing's got a girly name - Susanne or something - not even a proper evil woman's name, like Evillynne or Elvira or even Joan Rivers. But I'm getting ahead of myself. On Frostfell, I belong to …
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Who’s Laughing Now, Bucko?
Ohhhhhhhh, nooooooooooo - don't listen to ME! How long have I been telling you all? How many times did I try and raise an army to protect our lands, only to lose the members to quests, portal storms, or really interesting-looking mountains that looked like someone's name? Oh, no, we shouldn't worry about the COWS, …
I THINK I Remember This Quest…
The problem is, I bragged to Ben-li Sung recently that I knew all about the Tikola's Dagger quest. Then I realized it had been something like a year since I last did it. For all I know now, you open the first door and the Olthoi Queen comes out and rapes your eye sockets (recently …