Me, and My Necro…

I can’t even manage to play ONE character. Pretty sad, really.

I don’t even know how to use all of my spells as a Theurg. See, Pessum (used to be Bottom, remember?) made it all the way to 36th level before I let someone talk me into starting a Necro. Well, okay, I didn’t have to be convinced very hard – the idea of being able to play in shade form appealed to me. Mostly because of the whole “you can’t be hit in shade mode” thing – yeah, silly me.

So anyway, I now have two characters I fumble around with. Neither one of them is useful. Yeah, Kwip has that power transfer, but that usually requires me to stay alive long enough to cast it. Oh, Pessum might have PBT, but the power I might save the cleric in the party with heals I MORE than make up for in the number of times I have to get rezzed.

But lately I’ve been really really trying to get to 50th. Yes, that’s why these past two updates have been late – I’ve been staying up actually playing! Yes, I know, I’m as shocked as anyone. But I just have to get to 50! I want to try that fancy /level command out! Finally I’ll get to try all those wacky templates I’ve been afraid to – like an inconnu paladin!

The problem is (of course you knew there’d be one, right?), I don’t know how to play my character. Either one. And playing TWO of them just doubles my confusion.

I know that both of their classes can be effective. I’ve seen it. But I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. And to make matters worse, I get confused over which one can do which spell.

For example, in a party, as Pessum, I pump out as many pets as my power will let me. Yes, I take my power down to nil, but I’m confident that one powertap will put me right back on track. Of course, being that I’m now a THEURG, the only tapping my pets know how to do is to the top of someone’s head. So then my power’s empty, blade turn pulses, and whoops! No more power! That means no more blade turn. Which means party gets wiped out. Which means they take turns holding me down and kicking me in the groin.

Then I’m on as Kwip. I fire off an AOE spell at a pair of mobs, completely unconcerned because I know my AOE mez will hold the second of them off until I kill the first one. The only problem? Necros don’t have AOE mez. Oh, we’ve got little snares, but all that seems to do is make the monster stand still while he beats the snot out of me instead of his usual dancing around and giggling while beating the snot out of me.

And I’m not the only one doing it, you know. Do you think Pessum can walk by a graveyard without being accosted by a swarm of sniveling zombies, all hell-bent on getting some Necro buffs? It’s embarrassing. I mean, hey, I want to help the guys out and everything, but, uh, they’re undead. Kwip might have to deal with them, but I certainly don’t want their grubby little mitts all over me!

It’s really bad, too, because they instantly assume that if you play a Necro, you automatically will sympathize with them. I don’t really know who’s the PR guy for the undead, but they definitely need to start doing a better job. Maybe a flashy ad campaign with young attractive people playing volleyball in their swimsuits. Then a zombie could spike the winning point and everyone could have a cold one! Or something like that.

Because, to tell you the truth, and this is only between you and I – Kwip only uses undead pets because he likes the way they cry when they get hit. Yes, I know, he’s sick!

And this whole concept of being an undead “supporter” or something – well, it’s downright humiliating. But I just can’t bring myself to break it to them. So I buy the little flowers from them at their fundraisers (and I have a sneaky suspicion they’re taking these from fresh graves!), and I sign their petitions (People for Equal Treatment of Zombies – PETZ).

But, ah, I do not go to their luncheons. Trust me – they give a whole new meaning to “finger foods.”

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