So I’m trying to find my way around here. I feel pretty damn proud, ‘cause I tricked Yellow Rat Bastard into giving me a bunch of gold, and now I’m roaming the countryside, living the big life.
Yates tells me that the place to go is the Mad Friars Inn in Ludlow. Me, being the social animal that I am, instantly decide that this is a PERFECT place for me to meet the locals!
I stroll in there, and first thing I see? A rock imp has obviously mezz’d everyone in the room!
You yell, “SWEET MOTHER OF GOD! DON’T WORRY, I’LL SAVE YOU ALL!”
You attack Pebble!
Well, next thing I know, some big goombah named Corwin has tackled me and is giving me a stern lecture about disrupting the performances, accenting each point by bouncing my head off the floor.
Bouncer Corwin says, “Youse ought to not inter… uh… inter… mess wif da show!”
Bouncer Corwin says, “We’s pay good money to gets Lady Darden here.”
Bouncer Corwin says, “An’ we don’ need the likes of YOU messin’ wif her or her liddle friend!”
Bouncer Corwin says, “Youse gots dat?”
Well, now I know how he got his name. Being the mighty warrior that I am, I demonstrate that I understand completely by bleeding all over his boots. He drops me back onto the floor, where I take a moment to compose myself.
Yates shakes his head.
Yates says, “How many times do I have to tell you – this is a roleplaying server. You have to learn to blend in!”
Oh, right – roleplaying. I’m all over that! Lessee…
You yell, “Barkeep! Get yer most full-breasted wench over here with some ale right away, ye scurvy dog!”
Next thing I know, Corwin’s back at it. This time he carries me up to the second floor to throw me out a window. Apparently, there’s no good windows on the ground floor.
But I’ll not be stayed! Yeay, verily shall I layeth waste to thith…er, this challenge!
So I storm back in the pub, working EXTRA hard to blend in. This time I figure I’ll just follow the local’s lead.
Keener Woedin says, “Excellent Yasminea! Show us some more tricks!”
You say, “Yes! Show us some leg, ye scurvy wench!”
Trini Pipper says, “Shhh…Just watch the show and don’t make a lot of noise!”
You yell, “YE WOULDEST THOU SPEAKETH TO ME IN THAT TONE? PREPARETH TO TASTE MY STEEL, WENCH! YE SHALL LEARN THYEST PLACE!”
I don’t remember much of what happened next. Apparently, at some point, Corwin attempted to make castanets out of my testicles, and Trini inserted her Cutter in a MOST unpleasant place.
And then they have the nerve to ban ME from the Inn!
Hrmph. Roleplayers. They just can’t handle it when someone beats them at their own game, I tell you.