Oh lordy, not ANOTHER crack pipe!

Well, after much brow-beating and harrassment from members of my guild from AC, I finally gave in and decided to try out this Dark Age of Camelot. I’ll tell you what REALLY did it for me, though: RvR. I LOVE the way that PvP is set up in Camelot. It’s hawt.

Granted, it would be some time before I could adventure with the rest of my guild, since they’re all around lvl 40. But I picked up this crack pipe and puffed HARD.

First thing to do is decide upon a class. This isn’t that new to me; prior to AC, I’d been playing D&D for years, just like every other proper geek.

This wasn’t such a hard decision: first, I’ve always played Rangers. In Albion (the realm I had to pick because my guild was there, and if I wanted any phat lewt, I HAVE go with them – if it were up to me, I’d have been a cute little Lurikeen, but there you go), the equivalent of Rangers are the Scouts. Second, Yellow Rat Bastard is in this game, and pretty high-level. He advised me that even low-level stealthed Rangers are hard to spot.

After all this time, you’d think I know better than to listen to him.

So I start my life in Camelot as a Rogue! Yes! Perfect! Now then…where the hell am I…Oh! Woods! I like the woods! Caer..Ufuafuaufuasfuasfuasfuasduf. Yeah. Great name. Oh, wait, I’m on the roleplaying server, better straighten up –

“Yeay good sire, but this town’s name doth sound like the nether regions of a goat!”

Hrmph. What the hell’s this? A frog? You expect me to fight a FROG? Me, who is the terror of…erm…things? Really big things, even? Sigh. I can’t believe I have to stoop to this. Alrighty, short squat and green, nothing personal, but you gotta go down…
-Ten seconds later-
Gah! Run away! What the hell button makes me run faster! Dodge! Dodge! Turn invisible! Hide! What the hell you mean I can’t turn invisible? It’s a FROG, it’s not like we’re talking about the hardest minds to fool in the world!
What the hell was that? That’s no ordinary frog! For pete’s sake, is there a nuclear waste dump nearby or something? Good grief…I can’t believe I just died to a frog. Somewhere Kermit’s laughing his water-proof ass off at me right now. How embarrassing.

Well, let’s try one of these quest jobbies.

“Wait a sec there, Master Hadis, who was I supposed to take this to?”
“Hey! You! Answer me, jerk! What was that guys name?”
“Well, screw you AND your stupid little tasks! I’ve got a kingdom to defend!”

So I storm off. Honestly, if people expect you to get things done, they’d better explain themselves just a little better. It’s not like I was asking for the meaning of life or anything.

Ah-ha! A puny skeleton! If this were a BIG skeleton or even a MEDIUM-SIZED skeleton, I would be afraid! But it is a tiny little girly PUNY skeleton! Prepare to taste dagger, undead fiend!
You have failed your task.

Sonofa… I didn’t want that stupid task anyway!

Let’s see here…Guard fella! Hey! Guard guy! Yeah – anything I can do for you?
The Guardian Sergeant says, “I’m sorry, I don’t have anything for you. Come back when you are more powerful.”

 Huh? I think this is about as powerful as I’m gonna get, buster. You sure there’s no one I can rough up for you?

The Guardian Sergeant says, “I’m sorry, I don’t have anything for you. Come back when you are more powerful.”

But there’s some swamp slime right over there! Wouldn’t you like me to slay it?

The Guardian Sergeant says, “I’m sorry, I don’t have anything for you. Come back when you are more powerful.”

Look you, don’t make me kick YOUR ass while I’m at this, too!

The Guardian Sergeant smiles and fingers his sword.

Ermm…because I am a generous sort, I shall let you live. THIS time.

Hrmph. Jerks. Well, I don’t need their help! I shall go deliver death and dismemberment to the foul dwellers in this area myself!

Dammit! Hrmm…maybe if I try…
Shoot! Well, how about THIS then…

Sigh. Some things just never change.

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