The Truth Finally Revealed…

Yes, it has been long enough. People deserve to know the truth about what happend that fateful night. Oh, sure, we’ve all heard the story – Fizzle claims he lost his house a full three days before rent was due. He has appealed to the Housing Commission and filed a complaint against his landlord with the Better Business Bureau, but still has not received any answer. The mystery of how, and why, he lost his place of residence has remained a mystery.

Until now.

Yes, read on, fearless readers – but I warn you! Read on only if you be brave of heart! For the truth is not fit for any man! There are horrors there that involve deep-seated psychosis, and a lot of me running around without my pants on! Consider yourself warned…

It started out as any ordinary day. I had been killed about fifteen times prior to getting out of the vicinity of the lifestone, and now Kwipette and I were touring the countryside. Being in his neck of the woods, we decided to pay Fizzle Storm a visit.

You say, “Fizzre! Knock knock!”
Fizzle Storm says, “Kwip! Kwipette! What are you wacky kids up to?”
You say, “We have come to grace you with our presence!”
Fizzle Storm says, “Well, be still my beating heart! Come in, come in. Can I get you something to drink?”
You say, “It’s about time someone asked me that! Yes, I will have a pint of Isparian Ale, my good man!”
Kwipette says, “No you don’t! You’ll have a glass of milk. Sorry, Fizzle, but you remember that last bit of trouble with Captain Underpants here and Isparian Ale.”
Fizzle Storm snickers.
You say, “Hey! I was hot, that’s all! And if the Virindi don’t want people running naked through their labs, they should lock their doors.”
Kwipette says, “Be that as it may, you’ll have milk.”
You say, “Woman! Do not forget your place! I have spoken! I will have Isparian Ale!”
Kwipette raises an eyebrow.
You say, “That is better! As I was saying, Fizzre, I will have CHOCOLATE milk!”
Fizzle Storm snickers and gets his visitors tasty beverages.

So the visit started off well. We shot the breeze, and then I entertained them by letting passing-by monsters kill me through the window. All in all, a pretty good visit. But then IT happened.

Kwipette says, “Well, I’ve got to run. There’s some errands I want to get done before it gets dark. You coming, honey?”
Fizzle Storm says, “No thanks, babe, I’ll just hang here.”
You shoot Fizzle Storm a dirty look.
Fizzle Storm looks pleased with himself.
You say, “No thanks, chick. If it’s cool with you, I’m gonna hang with Fizzle a bit longer.”
Kwipette says, “Okay – just stay out of trouble, you two!”

And then she LEFT!

Yes, you read that right – Kwipette left Fizzle Storm and I ALONE!

Well, for a few minutes, Fizzle and I just stared at each other in shock. Then, of course, we broke out the Isparian Ale. A few hours later, we were on his rooftop, singing.

You say, “bladda bladda bladda bladda HEY, MACARANA!”
Fizzle Storm giggles.
Fizzle Storm says, “Hey…wait a shec…I bet…I bet…wheresh my glassh..right! I bet I can jump ta Pete’s housh over there!”
You squint, “Nuh-uh! Bet joo twenty pyreals!”
Fizzle Storm says, “Joor on!”
Fizzle Storm dies!
You tell Fizzle Storm, “Ha ha ha ha ha!”
Fizzle Storm tells you, “Ah, shaddup already!”

———–to be continued—————

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