CoH-CoV

City of Heroes-City of Villains

They Must Have Good Benefits…?

I’ll tell you right now: I’ve worked with some stupid people.

I’m not bragging or anything; I’m just telling you that there are people, sometimes called co-workers, that are pretty stupid. They’d do things like stick floppy discs to their filing cabinets.

With magnets.

And then they’d call me because the disk was ‘corrupted.’

So yeah, I’ll admit, I feel just a twinge of sympathy when I see those poor Reaper bastiches standing around with a pack of zombies. You know why they’re standing around, right? They’re hoping some hero will come along and pound the hell out of the zombies so they won’t have to finish working with them. In fact, some of them enjoy watching the zombies get the crap pounded out of them so much, they actually re-animate the zombies, just so they can see them get pounded again.

I’m not saying I condone it; but I understand it.

For starters, did you ever notice the clothes those poor bastiches wear? Filthy, right? Well, that’s what happens when zombies do your laundry. You thought getting your colors and whites mixed up was bad? Imagine someone dropping a few fingers into your load. That’ll leave a mark, I tell ya.

I can only imagine what a day in the life of one of those guys is like.

And then, you finish up your grand ‘crime wave’ of stealing all the hot pants in Paragon City, and you come back to find some leather-bound Crow-wannabe barking orders at you.

I’m telling you, when they launch City of Villains, I’m going to just take over. THIS is the competition? Please. I’ve known parking meters that were greater villains than those guys. Besides, I figure I’ll just promise them clean clothing and the option of NOT working with dead things every day to get them to come over to my side, and I’ll have my own army, right off the bat!

13 Aug 2003