That Time Of Year Again
Posted by Kwip on March 9th, 2006 38 Comments 
"Your wife has developed a lesion on her brain."
My wife, Becky (or "Kwipette," as those of you familiar with N3 know her), was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) nearly six years ago. In that time, I like to think I’ve done a pretty good job of coming to terms with what that could mean to us. And perhaps I had. Right up until the words "lesion" and "brain" got tossed out in the same sentence.
I’m not sure how long I stared at the doctor after he’d delivered those words. He licked his lips nervously and glanced around surreptitiously, perhaps wondering if there was anyone nearby that spoke Idiot. I knew he thought I didn’t understand what he had said. But I wasn’t staring because I didn’t know what he meant.
I was quiet because I knew this meant things would never be the same again.
A Brief History
I’ve written several humorous (sometimes) stories about our adventures in various MMORPGs over the years, and we’ve made a huge number of friends in just about every one of them out there. From the humble beginnings fighting over Uziz to wandering in Raza to crashing tows in Sol space to sending my Ninjas into battle to being smushed by BFRs to stomping fruity Elves and stinky Mids to stomping even MORE fruity elves and even now to fumbling a digital D20, we’ve been there (and SO many places in between!). While I’ve never really shone in ANY of those games, I’ve certainly had a great time sucking, and have always tried to share tales of my "suckdom" with others.
For the past six years, we’ve organized a team for the MS Walk. It’s not huge, but it’s one way that we feel we’re fighting back against MS. We’ve turned to our friends in the Gaming Community for help in the annual MS Walk, and every year they come through with huge outpourings of support and donations. In five years, we’ve raised over $40,000 from your donations. But more importantly to us, you’ve always been there for us. In emails, in chat rooms, in instant messages, and even (gasp) in person, you people have helped us every time we’ve asked.
Last year was something of a big deal for us – not only were we planning a HUGE party for our Walk team, we were being joined by a number of developers from Mythic and Turbine (because they’ve obviously got nothing better to do than to drive several hours for a long walk!). We received coverage from just about every gaming trade publication out there, and although we didn’t top the $10k in pledges we made our first year, we did get more exposure than ever.
So last year we were all set to have our big party, rally ALL THE GAMERS IN THE WORLD, raise BILLIONS of dollars, and just have a great time.
And then my wife, the love of my life, developed a hole. In her brain.
A New Kind Of Fight
MS has always lurked. Like a wicked little ninja, it hides until it spots an opportunity to create havoc. Stealing Becky’s coordination at crucial moments, sapping her strength when she most needs it, and even doing such fun things as weakening her bladder control so that she’s left rushing to the bathroom to avoid an accident.
Ooooh, we would think. How terrible MS is!
What we learned this past year was that MS isn’t always a ninja. Sometimes it’s a massive, horrific dragon that comes screaming out of the night. It doesn’t bother with petty things like numbness or fatigue – it moves straight to vomiting every few minutes, no muscle control, and – oh, you think rushing to the bathroom is bad? Let’s just dial it up to having to wear adult diapers! And occasionally being bedridden sucks? No problem! How about TWO MONTHS trapped in an uncomfortable bed in the hospital!
In short, MS rolled over us like a steamroller.
Licking Our Wounds
When the local chapter of the MS Society contacted us about doing the Walk this year, my first thought was "No way. Absolutely not. Nuh-uh!"
I know that sounds a bit selfish. But last year was a brutally painful experience, both for me, walking without Becky, and for her, lying in bed, helpless, knowing I was out there without her. I felt like we had brought all of these wonderful people together to help, but instead of joining in the celebration of friendship and support that the Walk is, I was a million miles away. I couldn’t stop thinking about Becky.
The people volunteering and working at the Walk had no idea – they kept asking where Becky was, inadvertently rubbing salt in my gaping wound. I felt like I was letting them down, like I was letting our friends down, and, most importantly, I was letting Becky down by not throwing myself into the cause 110%.
So when this year’s Walk rolled around again, all I could feel was fear. Fear of not being able to raise any pledges. Fear of not having any friends willing to come back and walk again. Fear of Becky getting sick again.
Fear of walking alone.
No Soloing On This Mission, Bucko
When I got up that morning (after a long and fitful night of tossing and turning), I wanted to do nothing more than to crawl back into bed and hide under the covers. I was an utter failure, a fraud, and a coward to boot. And I was going to be walking that long walk on my own.
Then a couple friends showed up at our place ready to walk. We showed up at the Walk site to find half a dozen friends already there. Sebine was patiently waiting with a handful of emails of support (and matching pledges!) from her friends back home. Some people wandered over to our group from Millersville University. They had never met us, but heard our story from Anson, and wanted to help. Within a half hour, I was surrounded by over three dozen people.
All wanting to do nothing more but to help.
Every step of the way – as bummed as I was, as hard a time as I was having – every step I took was alongside our friends. Friends that had given up a day to help. Friends that had taken a whole weekend to drive long hours just to be with us. Friends that had busted their humps to raise money for a cause that (hopefully) will never benefit them personally. Friends that we had never met in person, who only knew us through our silly stories or through the games we played together (or games they had built that I toiled away sucking at!). Friends that we’d never even met before the Walk, who read about our cause and just wanted to help. Friends who couldn’t be there but donated money and rallied their friends to donate. Friends that had sent us countless emails of support and encouragement.
Last year, MS showed up in a steamroller. And then our friends showed up driving the friggin’ Death Star.
Changing Gears This Year
Normally, this is the part where I ask for your pledges. And don’t get me wrong – if you want to pledge, by all means, go crazy! But every year past, I’ve always been concerned with trying to get my pledges up to some crazy amount. Sure, I’d love to raise a huge amount of money. But more than that, I’m hoping we can get another huge group of friends together.
I can’t tell you how important the money raised is to the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. I know it’s their lifeblood, obviously, but I don’t know how the money breaks down and all that. But I can tell you how much it means to us to have your support. How amazed we were when we added our totals up at the end of the day and find that although my own pledges had been woefully short, our friends had come through like gangbusters and given us one of our best years to date. How, for weeks after the Walk, I would bring in emails from people offering their own experiences with illnesses, or messages of support, or just funny stories and news from the games we love. I’d bring those in and sit with my Becky, reading them to her and just enjoying our time together (especially those sponge baths – gotta love sponge bath night!).
Now Becky’s doing better. She won’t be walking on the Walk, but she’ll be there. In a fancy new wheelchair, no less (which I think cost more than both of our cars put together – and probably runs better). Although we HAVE joined a gym, and we’re busting our humps to get in shape, so maybe I’LL ride in the chair and make HER push me…
But we still need your help. We hold no illusions about being the top fund-raisers or biggest team out there. But I DO know that Team N3 parties harder than any of the other teams, and we’re CERTAINLY a better-looking team (especially if Nik wears his hat).
If you can join our team, we’d love to have you. If you just want to pledge to us, that’s fantastic, too. If you can’t do either, we’d still love to hear from you. And if you can help us get the word out, we’d love that, too. The Walk is on Sunday, April 23, 2006 in Lancaster, PA at the Quality Inn & Suites.
We’ll be having a party Saturday night, so if you’re planning on coming for the Walk, just go ahead and clear your schedule for the night before. Can’t have you miss the DDR, after all. Not to mention the Guitar-Heroing – honestly, what’s a fund-raiser without some righteous guitar-wailing the night before?
As always, thanks, folks. I hope you can join us – it is a great time.
And this year’s theme is Pirates versus Ninjas, so go ahead and pick your side and dress accordingly. Of course “innocent bystanders” is a choice, but not as much fun as picking a side…
UPDATE: We’ve secured the most excellent VSA for our Pre-Walk party. Seriously, this party is going to be quite insane. I expect the Guitar Hero-ing alone will account for several sprained wrists.
UPDATE #2: I can’t thank Tycho enough for his linking. A lot of you have been asking if we have banners. Thanks to the efforts of Kaigon, we do. Take a look here and feel free to use them as you see fit.
March 10th, 2006 at 6:00 am
*Notices yellow exclamation mark*
*clicks accept*
And now to figure out where I put my wallet …
March 10th, 2006 at 10:26 am
Well, the only thing you left out was your family that was there to support you and Becky. You don’t just have friends-you have a family all over the country who supports and loves both of you. We are proud of both of you and we had a great time last year being at the walk. Even though Becky wasn’t there, (and we did know how bad you felt-remember you can’t fool your mom) we were there and knew she was there in spirit. This year the family circle may not be able to be at the walk, but you can count on our monetary support and of course our love.
“Family” is just another way of saying “Friends.” Only difference is Family are Friends that’re stuck with you, no matter WHAT you do to drive them crazy…
March 10th, 2006 at 11:09 am
Family has to drive you crazy because we are the only ones up to the dirty job! Love you – the queen mum
March 10th, 2006 at 3:43 pm
Warming up my walking shoes again
HUGS!!
March 10th, 2006 at 4:24 pm
Let not your hearts be troubled! HappyJack will be there to lend not only support, but uncomfortable and inappropriate comments.
Query: Will there be Pub stops along the way? I havent seen Kwip blow chunks in almost 2 weeks. We could easilly turn the MSWalk into an MSCrawl!
More Whiskey! HJ
March 10th, 2006 at 4:43 pm
I’m eyeballing flight schedules for that wedding I have to attend that weekend. Stupid sister, not planning around my needs. If I get back at 11 that Saturday night, I should be rested enough to get up the next morning to make the drive… right?
Sigh. What I really wanted was to go to the party and hear that precious little voice muttering behind me, “It’s not Stomp Stomp Revolution.” Okay, and the jerky.
Just drive up to Lancaster that night! Who needs this ‘rest’ thing you speak of? The Stomp Stomp Revolution shall continue throughout the night! And the Guitar Hero-ing, for that matter!
And there will ALWAYS be jerky.
March 10th, 2006 at 5:02 pm
I hope we will have even more people participating this year
March 10th, 2006 at 6:26 pm
Don’t you worry, Sanya. Should you manage to make it, I will have an all-new suite of snarky comments with which to poke, prod, tweak, annoy, irk, and irritate! You know you’ve missed me!
Team Nik will represent, pirate-style. Yarr.
March 10th, 2006 at 9:36 pm
Ha ha! I’m the first Turbie to register for the team. I win!
March 10th, 2006 at 9:47 pm
I’m greasing up my shoes. PS What’s a family?
March 11th, 2006 at 4:18 am
Heading to New Mexico next week. Will see what is in store for me in April. Hopefully I’ll be able to make it out this year.
March 11th, 2006 at 9:54 am
I’ll try to be there…
March 17th, 2006 at 2:44 pm
I’ve made babysitting arrangements with the parents-in-law in Middletown, so I should be there. Just gotta sign up and stuff.
Well it’s about time we hear from you, Viscous! I’ve been emailing you since… well, all year! Where you been? =P
March 18th, 2006 at 9:53 pm
I’m unable to make it. Gulfport, MS is a long walk/expensive flight and I’m still in the middle of thrumb wrestling the remnants of mother-nature’s colon-cleansing that is known as ‘Hurricane Katrina’. My support is with you guys and pledges have been made. Long time reader, 1st time poster
Well, thanks for the pledge anyway, knowah. Glad to have your support – and hey, maybe you can make it NEXT year!
March 19th, 2006 at 11:51 pm
Nooks and I will be there. He’s 5 1/2 now so maybe he’ll be easier to control this time
But he did look cute in the group photo.
March 24th, 2006 at 6:57 pm
Just put in my pledge. I hope things hit a BIG upswing for your wife and she hits a permanent bout of remission! Here’s to Tsyabri working as well!
Cheers!
Scott
March 24th, 2006 at 11:15 pm
Kwip: I just now found your site through Tycho’s news post. Sadly, I am unable to make a pledge this year, and am unable to make it to PA for the walk, but please let me say this:
Thank you for ever doing something like this. I can feel you, to an extent, as my own mother was diagnosed with MS roughly five years ago. In that time, the quality of her memory has depleted, and she has problems walking anymore. At points, I feel like nobody cares, and that they’re looking at my mother out of pity.
It’s things like this that give me hope for humanity, and let me know that people DO care.
And that’s enough long-windedness……once again, thank you to you, and anyone participating in this. -Nod-
March 25th, 2006 at 12:05 am
While I cannot make a pledge, and will not be able to attend the walk, I just wanted to let you know that your story has touched me personally. In May I had a surfing accident that left me a quadriplegic. I realize its not the same as MS, but I know first hand what its like to lose most of your body. But I still manage to play games, and am hopelessly addicted to World of warcraft. What server are you on, and whats your handle? I’d love to quest with you sometime.
In WoW, I’m on Cenariun Circle. Cenar… Cinar… I don’t know, SOMETHING Circle! as Kwip and Pessum. And… Erm… Kaigon, what’s the other one we’ve got our duo on?
And thanks for all the kind words/thoughts, everyone!
March 25th, 2006 at 2:43 am
Hi Kwip, new reader. I just put in a pledge and I hope it helps in some small way. My mother has MS, and I’ve dealt with it all my life. I’m always frustrated that I haven’t really done much for her. I’m glad there are folks like you out there with the ability to gather people together for something like this. Good luck to you.
March 25th, 2006 at 7:58 am
Dear Kwip
When I found your story through Tycho’s post, I was laughing and crying the whole way through. I wont be able to attend the walk (sob, cry) but i will be able to make a donation. Now, if only my computer had a drive to put my money in…
Best Wishes,
Anonymous Contributor
March 25th, 2006 at 9:35 am
Kwip,
This is the first time I’ve ever been to your site. I noticed the link when Tycho mentioned MS on Penny-Arcade. I can relate to you and the other posters on this board who have a loved one with MS; my sister was diagnosed with it last Easter. I don’t live in PA, but there is a walk here in Michigan that I will be attending if finals do not hinder me. The main reason I’m posting this is to thank you for drawing awarness to the MS walks. I really don’t have the words to articulate such appreciation for your efforts. Good luck to you and your wife and to everyone else battling through MS.
-Nick
March 25th, 2006 at 4:49 pm
Hey Kwip,
Never read your site before, but will start now. My mom has had MS for about 17 years now, so I know what you are going through. She has gone from walking fine, to a cane, to crutches, to a wheelchair, and now she is in an electric wheelchair. That sucker is fast. I’m also in PA, so I’ll be joining your team this year. I’ll see if my mom can, also. She is a good woman. A strong woman.
See you in Lancaster,
Loto
March 26th, 2006 at 5:32 am
Hello, Kwip.
This is my first time on this site, I followed the link from Penny Arcade. I had to when I saw what it was about.
A couple of months ago I was hit with a steamroller. After MRIs, a spinal tap, weeks of wating for results scared half to death and visits with a neurologist to figure out what was horribly wrong with me, the verdict was MS. Just that simple diagnosis was a steamroller to me.
Family and friends keep asking me how I’m doing. I don’t know how to answer. I don’t know will happen. I don’t know how bad it will get.
I wish you and Becky the best in everything. If you ever see me on Cenarion Circle (that’s my WoW home as well), feel free to say hello.
And thank you for what you’re doing, though I can only hope I never have to take advantage of anything like this.
~Shaz
March 26th, 2006 at 11:28 pm
Kwip, and Kwipette-
We are so glad that we heard of your annual letter this year via TNRevolution.com…It has been a few years now since we took first place in Whose Drudge is it Anyway at the ACPL, and about as many since we’ve been involved in AC (now heavily addicted to WoW, Elune Server…look for Deldinor or Niata) but we are happy to be fortunate enough to donate a small amount this year. Your humor touches many, and we are grateful for it.
All of our best wishes,
Matt and Heather DiTrolio
(aka Luna Sedai and Dara Eunomia from Morningthaw, and Deldinor and Niata on Elune)
Hot dog – new readers AND new team members! And some old friends! Now I have to run off and harrass the TNR peeps…
Thanks for all the support everyone. If you’re in the area, we’d LOVE to have you on our team – but make sure you clear the night before for the awesome party, too!
Looking forward to meeting as many of you as possible (either at the Walk or in a game)! And Shaz, if you ever need to talk, you certainly know where to look!
March 28th, 2006 at 6:47 am
Hi Kwip,
I’ve been followiing your and Kwippette’s struggle with MS for some time now and I’m still convinced that you are one strong mutha. I live in the Netherlands, so obviously I can not attend the walk. But I wish you and yours the very best in overcoming that dreaded disease.
Good luck and lots of love from the Netherlands
March 29th, 2006 at 4:18 pm
Hi Kwip and Kwipette
I do wish all of you a great time on the Walk. Call me crazy, but I think MS has actually made you stronger.
Qwentar
March 29th, 2006 at 10:00 pm
i’m coming to the walk. i’ll be the guy totally ill-at-ease amongst the crowd and not talking to anyone, probably smoking a cigarette. If anyone is able to chase something away (such as ms) its me and my bubbly personality.
-Yellowrat (Doug)
March 30th, 2006 at 12:10 pm
On a related note, I was reading New Scientist No. 2542, March 11 – 17 2006. There’s an article in there about a new vaccine treatment for MS. They take a blood sample, extract the renegade white cells (the ones that “attack myelin cells lining the brains and nerves”), allow these cells to multiply, then weaken them with radiation. After this, the cells are reintroduced to the body, allowing the immune system to detroy those. Once that’s done, the immune system now is capable of attacking the HEALTHY renegade cells. “In one trial of 15 people with MS the rate of new flare-ups was reduced by 92%.” “In the current trial, 100 patients will receive the treatment and 50 a dummy treatment.” “Richard Rudick of the Mellan Center for Multiple Sclerosis Treatment and Research in Cleveland, Ohio, is cautious about its prospects.” Expect about four vaccinations per year.
This sounds like A New Hope to me. (dun dun dun duuuuuhn DUUUUUHHN duh duh duh DUUUUH dun…) Okay – so I’m not John Williams. Nor am I a biologist or medical doctor, but it makes the most sense to me. Give the body a chance to figure out how to beat this villain. Once it’s won the battle, it knows the strategy to win the war.
Not to be mean or anything, but I just now had an idea to make a villain in CoV called “MS-Man”. I’d run around with the explicit purpose of allowing you to kick my butt all over Paragon City.
April 11th, 2006 at 12:12 am
Kwip,
I wish you the best of luck. I’ve been going to your site for about a year now as I discovered it last year for the MS walk. And like last year, I’m way too poor to shell out any money or be able to attend. But ever since I read the first few MS based articles, my thoughts have been with ya.
I’ll help by trying to tell people, but thats as much as i can do.
James
April 16th, 2006 at 10:55 am
Donation sent. Best wishes sent. Wish I could be there to help even though we have never met.
April 18th, 2006 at 6:05 am
Kwip,
This is the first time I visit your site, thanks to a Turbie-link. I admire your courage and will see what we (my wife, my family, my friends and myself) can do to help from here.
Best wishes from Spain.
May 8th, 2006 at 7:15 am
youre the best !