I’m All About Helping the Role Play!

This new RP-ing filter thing is a killer idea. I don’t know how simple it was to code, but I’m amazed nobody’s done it before. It allows someone who’s a terrible role-player (ie, me) to not so forcefully intrude upon people that are devoted role-players (ie, everyone that appealed the name “Bottom”).

Okay, I think that’s about enough seriousness. Let’s get silly, shall we?

I’ve got a couple different filter profiles set up that I use. For those days when I’m feeling sad, I have the “Different Strokes” filter, that substitutes such humorous phrases as, “Wha’choo talking ’bout, Willis?” for benign comments like “Pessum stop drawing aggro, jerk!” Then there’s the X-Files filter, which substitutes “Agent Scully loves Pessum!” for phrases like “Pessum has died!”

Another fun thing to do is substitute “wants to give you a long tongue bath” for “is a member of an enemy realm.” Think about it – the world’s difficult enough to deal with when you think of anyone as an enemy. Wouldn’t it be nice if you thought of them sexual deviants with a fixation on you? Of course they’re still going to try and kill you, but hey, that way you can feel like a celebrity for a day! Instead of standing on top of a keep wall and looking out at the horde of Mid barbarians ready to smash through the gates and make all your bases are belong to them, you can instead look out upon an entire army of adorers, all of whom want to reward you in most naughty manners!

You can also make for non-stop hilarity with CSRs. Instead of their boring, “Kwip, if we have to warn you one more time about broadcasting the “I’ve lost my pants and I’m feeling naughty” song, your account is going to be banned,” you can make for THIS enjoyable message:

Yraeran sends, “COOLEST MOST AWESOME GUY IN THE WORLD, if we have to LOVE AND HUG you one more time about SHARING WITH THE UNENLIGHTENED the “KWIP THEME SONG” song, YOU’RE GOING TO BE GIVEN BEN AND JERRYS AND LOVE FROM GILLIAN ANDERSON.”

Now I ask YOU which is the more fun reality to play in? It’s as if the entire world is taking my medication with me! It’s glorious!

The problem with /rpfilter is that it doesn’t go far enough. Oh, sure, you can change the way you hear things. But I think they need to make the filter so that you can change the way EVERYONE hears things! Well, no, maybe that wouldn’t work. Yates’ filters that change the hateful things everyone says about him to praises of his manhood would no doubt interfere with my filters that change people yelling at me to people offering me pints of Ben & Jerrys. And that’s not even taking into account Alem’s filters that change anything said by a female character into some sort of rude sexual proposition…(Yeah, that’s right, I know all about Alem – you just wait till I publish “Alem: XXXposed!”)

Maybe they could make it so that whoever has the most RPs or something gets to have their filters take effect. No, wait, that wouldn’t work – I’ve got fewer RPs than anyone (yes, despite being the Alb RvR TL). Hrm. Well, tell you what, let’s just make it so that MY filters override everyone present. Hey man, you don’t like that? Think of how bad the alternatives could be…

Now come on – wouldn’t you rather listen to non-stop hilarity of my idea of role-playing instead?

“Wanted to TRADE FOR A GOOD TIME: set of mithril armor FREE TO THE FIRST PERSON TO SHOW ME THEIR BOOBIES!”
Hibernian says SOMETHING IN A DUMB LANGUAGE THAT YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND BUT IT’S PROBABLY ABOUT HOW NICE TREES ARE AND PUPPY DOGS AND HUGGING EACH OTHER.
Midgardian says SOMETHING THAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE THEIR BREATH IS SO STINKY IT KNOCKS YOU RIGHT OUT AND OMG DO THEY SMELL BAD!

I know, try and contain the laughter!

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