As Your RvR Team Lead, I Promise…
So I don’t know if you guys heard yet, but Mythic’s looking for three new Team Leads. For RvR.
I know what you’re thinking: “Why, Kwip – one of those slots is YOURS!”
Death says, “Actually, I was just thinking about that time you were defending at Bledmeer Faste and died by falling off the wall. Hoo, what a hoot that was.”
You say, “Shut up!”
You’re correct, though – one of those spots is certainly for me. I mean, when you think of Realm vs Realm combat, who else could possibly come to mind?
Yates says, “How about me? I’ve got about fifty BILLION more RPs than you! In fact, the ONLY RPs you ever got were the ones you earned while I let you tag along with me!”
You say, “Wha..? That is a complete and utter lie! I killed LOTS of people.”
Yates says, “Name one.”
You say, “Urm…you probably never heard of him. He was… uh… Canadian…”
Sometimes friends are entirely over-rated, I tell you.
Anyway, I think it’s pretty obvious the help I could lend as the Albion RvR Team Lead. For example, I’ve got this idea about Theurgists. Being the siege experts they are, I think that they need a special skill in RvR: “Devastation.” Basically, how it would work is this: any time the Theurgist gets involved in RvR, he clicks this button and all of the enemy around him are killed (devastated – get it?).
Death says, “You’re kidding.”
You say, “What?”
Death says, “Gee, aren’t you making it too hard for yourself?”
Oh, hey – that’s a good point. Better than that, let’s make it like this: If a Theurge gets attacked in the Frontier, all enemy units within five landblocks around him get wiped out. Oh! And since we ARE the siege engineers, after all – we should be able to knock down walls. Not just gates, either. I’ve noticed that a lot of times there are a LOT of defenders just hanging around gates inside keeps, waiting for them to come down. I resent this. In the REAL world, I’d never walk into an ambush. Frankly, I’m pretty disappointed Mythic hasn’t done anything about it. After I get them to see the light regarding the Devastation skill, I’ll be sure to begin working on the Siege skill.
Hey! How about this: since it wouldn’t really be fair for Theurges to just knock the walls down right away, what if the FIRST level of the skill just let you dig a BIG tunnel under the wall! And then the SECOND level of the skill let you knock the walls down? Yeah, that’s pretty clever, I must admit.
Oh, and another thing: I’m tired of wearing a robe. It’s making me too vulnerable. I think that theurges should be able to wear platemail. Only we need a SPECIAL set of platemail – one that weighs the same as cloth. On account of us being weaker than Armsmen and Paladins. (Duh!)
You see? You’re not just talking to Joe Newb here. I’ve BEEN on the Frontiers, man. I know what it’s like. I can keep it real, yo. But I promise you I will only use my expertise and experience for GOOD!
That reminds me: I’m sick of getting sniped. Yes, I know, once Devastation is in place, snipers will die as soon as they attack me. But what if they get in a lucky shot? That would totally be unfair. I mean, if they shoot me in the back of the head – like some wuss or something! – then why should they be rewarded? That is TOTALLY unfair. And as the new Albion RvR TL, I promise you to do something about it.
For starters, Theurges will get another skill, which we’ll call Spider Sense. What it will do is make this buzzing noise if someone is aiming at you! And with this skill, if you hit your jump key, you’ll jump OVER the arrow! And THEN land on the sniper, crushing their head and killing them instantly! (As well as all the enemy in the surrounding five landblocks, don’t forget that.)
Yates says, “Good grief. What about us mages?”
Woah, there, sparky. Let’s not get too hasty! I mean, I’m the Albion RvR TL, sure – but we have to keep the game balanced, right? Sheesh! These mages. Always looking out for themselves! But don’t worry – I wouldn’t go and do anything CRAZY or anything. I’ll keep a FIRM sense of balance!
Oh – and did I tell you about the Nuclear Cruise Missles? They’d only be available at the THIRD level of the Siege skill, of course. And you’d need at least 100 RPs before you could get that skill.
I mean, I wouldn’t want to unbalance the game or anything.