Always Something Sharper…

Anarchy Online is all about the “Haves” (everyone else) and the “Have Nots” (me). It’s kinda like a massive multi-player version of Rock Paper Scissors, only I’m that kid that always throws Paper and all anyone else ever throws is Scissors.

I like this game. In fact, I will go as far as to say that this game was the sole reason I didn’t spend the entire weekend off goofing around on ShadowClaim. Don’t get me wrong. I still have NO idea what the hell I’m doing. And this is even more complicated than other MOGs, because in other games, you might have the whole issue of whether you want to be a fighter or a wizard. Those are pretty obvious. If I am a fighter, let’s say, I might see a monster and attempt to fight it. However, in AO, when you are a fixer, the name is a tad misleading, because you do not, in fact, fix monsters – that is to say, unless they’re dealing with a lot of pent-up aggressions they need to pound the hell out of someone to work it out of their system.

Nonetheless, the game has captured my interest with a refreshing amount of fun-ness that I haven’t experienced in a while. The thing I REALLY like about it – which is surprising, as a lot of people I talked to didn’t like it – were the little missions you can get. I thought they were fun, even if they consisted of only running around and shooting zombies in the face. And hey, if there’s ever been an activity that never grows old, shooting zombies in the face is it.

But back to my original point, the recurring theme in this game is that as soon as I find something that I believe to be cool, someone else, like a evil clan guy, has to show up and blast off my face with something even better. And although this would inspire some people to achieve better gear, it merely inspires me to a lot of screaming.

I tend to get rather confused when I start a game.

Death says, “Not to mention when you’ve been playing a game for almost four years, too…”

Quiet, slut! Er…where was I… Oh, right, confusion. Yeah, even on the simplest of games, I’m already confused. And AO is all about taking those of us that confuse easily, stuffing our heads in the toilet, giving us a good swirly, and slapping our asses the entire time. It’s just that complicated. Oh, I suppose there are easy enough answers to most of my questions (“Why can’t I take off my pants?”), but finding them usually involves a lot of work. Why work to discover something when I can just whine about it and never fully realize satisfaction?

But I’m having fun. This is really a fun game – those of you who experienced the horror that was the beta, it is totally different now. Honest. Oh, I know what you’re thinking: “Kwip, how can we be sure?” or “Kwip, but the beta was so bad!” or maybe even, “Kwip, why the hell should we care what you think, you still can’t beat that stupid Pearl game?”

Well, hey man, I didn’t force you to come here! Back off! No, no, seriously, though – I was one of the ones hurtling cows on the catapult at this game when it first came out, because the beta was that bad. But apparently they’ve done that mystical thing and gotten their act together. As it stands right now, not only will I finish the entire free demo period for this game, but I’m going to actually pay for it after that. Yeah, I’m that into it.

You know what I really dig? You can solo! I don’t know if it’s true for the rest of the levels, but at the beginning, it really lets you solo! Quite nicely, even! And I mean, let’s face it: given the choice of grouping with me or NOT suffering insta-death, most people choose not to group with me (I know! I can’t believe it myself, but it’s TRUE!). So being able to actually do stuff on my own is pretty swell.

Of course, anyone out there that wants to spend hours powerlevelling me and giving me crazy phat lewt is SOOOOOOO welcome to….