Shadowbane: Friend of Monsters Everywhere!

I just don’t understand it.

I mean, unless you plan for failure – wouldn’t you sort of expect a lot of people to be in your game? And, I dunno, call me crazy – but wouldn’t you want to sort of support all those people in your game? Especially when one of your selling points – really your BIG selling point – is big, giant, MANY player battles?

Now, granted, I’ve never seen one of them. Silly me, I’m basing all of this judgment on doing such graphics-intensive processes like “running through the woods” and “shopping” and maybe even entering a city! I know, I know, I really should restrict my complaints to valid occassions.

But look, Wolfpack – I love your product. I’ve been having a great time playing it. I’m damn near drooling just thinking about how much fun laying siege to a city or defending a city under siege is going to be. I know how much I love keep raids/defenses in DAoC, and this is supposed to be even better than that.

Unfortunately, I don’t know that I’ll ever actually get that far, since every time I log on, it seems to be a race between leveling or my head exploding in frustration.

This comic might not make sense. You might look at that last panel and say things like, “Wait a sec – where did Kwip go? Who killed him? Where’s everyone else in his party? Where’d that little lizard guy come from? How many text balloons can he fit in one window?”

Rest assured, though, that this is a staggeringly accurate portrayal of actual gameplay. One second you’re standing there, bitching about something important (today, I was bitching because my shirts didn’t match my pants, and neither ONE of them matched my helm). Next thing I knew, I was completely dead, everyone in my party was dead and my helm STILL looked out of place. And then – because I wasn’t pissed enough – some little dumbass centaur named Lighthawk decided to loot all our corpses (yeah, another pleasure in the game is that you drop everything on your corpse except what’s actually being wielded – and yes, that does mean all your gold, too). The small ray of sunshine that Fate decided to deliver to our party was that he got about 50 feet from our corpses before some lag-friendly monster kicked the crap out of him. And then someone in our party looted not only all OUR gear from his corpse, but all of HIS gear, too. Hee – see, it doesn’t pay to be an asshole! Take notes, children! Of course, then lag killed me twice more before and that person logged before I got a chance to get my share of gold back – so now I’m penniless, unable to train up my skills (they cost money), and generally very, very bitter at the lagfest and the makers of such a frustration machine.


Quit? Are you kidding? I’m only 90,000 xp away from being able to get off newb island!