Yaaaay, Crotch-Shooting ‘Sploit!

Okay, I think we just need to come to terms with it: monsters are dumb.

Even semi-humanoid mutants are no rocket scientists. You’d think that having to survive in a world where you’re not sure where the cheese on the pizza stops and your melting face begins would teach you a thing or two about at least TRYING to be clever. But apparently no, that’s not meant to be.

Neocron has some really, really fun monsters. But unfortunately they are so blindingly stupid they make me look like a brilliant strategist.

I mean come on, these guys are making Jar-Jar Binks look like General Patton when it comes to strategies. I respect the fact that you mutant fruitcakes want a fair fight. But let’s face it – if someone is ducking under a large pipe and blowing holes in your crotch, the least you can do is CROUCH DOWN AND BURN THEIR FACES OFF!

I don’t know why on earth I’m complaining. If it weren’t for these brainiacs, I’d still be second level and trying to figure out how to use a knife. But thanks to these brain-damaged gladiators, I’ve now got a shiny new assault rifle, which I put to good use blowing large holes in their crotches. After all, we can’t let them reproduce and spread their stupid seed any further, can we? Not that I think there’s much chance of that – these guys have those melted-flesh look that make Yellow Rat Bastard look like Fabio.

So my question is, Is this an exploit? Well, yes, obviously it’s a pretty brutal exploit. But do I feel guilty doing it? Well, no. Hey man, if this mutant scum wants to infest our city, am I to blame when they haven’t mastered the powerful ninja combat technique called the “CROUCH”?

It’s not even that, really. They COULD shoot you without crouching. They’re just being lazy! And why on earth should I reward laziness? I should NOT! Therefore, if I find a mutant that is too lazy to attack me when I’m crouched behind a pipe, I have every right to shoot him in the crotch until he dies.

Ed. note: it’s really not entirely necessary to shoot them in the crotch. Headshots work just as well.

No they don’t, shut up. The mutants MUST be shot in the crotch!

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