Welcome… To Neopunkthunderdomecron

Welp, welcome to the fascinating new world of Neocron. A few men enter. One man leaves. Well, okay, not THIS one man. This one man’s busy getting his ass kicked by cockroaches. Yeah, you heard me: cockroaches. Actually, I should say COCKROACH. Singular. Like, by itself.

Yeah. This game is not newb-friendly. Neocron is dark, dark, dark. It is a gritty, cyberpunk-ish in-your-face DT-on-crack atmosphere. I stepped out of the apartment I spawned in and five minutes later was being chased by a guy with a baseball bat. Well…when I say ‘chased’ I mean ‘having the crap kicked out of me.’

And I LOVE this game.

It might just be that it’s a whole new game and whatnot, and it might just be that I’m desperate for a good cyberpunk game, but I’m having a blast. I have NO clue what the hell I’m doing. So far, my sole purpose involves running away from people with bats (the people with guns shoot me before I get a chance to run). But really, apart from my first encounter, I haven’t had much of a problem with newb gankers. I have, however, been having problems with NPCs. Like, serious attitude problems.

I guess I’m just spoiled by places like Dereth and Camelot where the rudest NPC you might have to deal with is a drunk that tells you to go away. Well, I mean, besides the ones that attack you. But in Neocron, the NPCs there have basically just said, “Hey, we know who these players are, but you know what? F them. WE don’t need them. THEY are the ones asking us for jobs, for raw materials – F them, I say!”

For example, observer the scene below. Yes, that is our real conversation. Well, except for the end where I leap over the desk and commenced introducing him to my friends Left Boot and Right Boot, aka the Boot Brothers.

Anyway, I stumble into this office. The gentleman sitting is the head of the company I work for. I’m the cool guy in shades & Don Johnson-wannabe facial hair. I come in, humbly seeking a mission. This is our conversation:


Yes, this is a real dialogue I had.
“Oooooooof!!!” added for effect, though.
Because Kwipette
thought he was polishing my shoes.

I mean, good gravy, I’ve been PK’d more politely than this. Call me crazy, but if I’m Mr. Important CEO guy, then I would lock my door! It would be different if I snuck into his office or something. You know, maybe came in, stole some pens, urniated on his desk, something to deserve the h8. Hey, I’ve seen that hidden camera video where that crazy chick comes in and pees on her bosses chair. If I did that, then I certainly deserve to be treated rudely. Well, actually, I’d deserve to be punched in the throat, but I digress.

Look, all I’m saying here is that if we want to rebuild this devestated civilization, can’t we just be a tad bit kinder to each other? You know, you don’t mouth off to me, and I won’t stand on your throat? I think that’s a fair compromise.