Wait, WHAT Hormones Are You Guys Using?

It is a well-known fact that I love scientists. Especially those crazy ones that come up with far-flung ideas and really blaze trails. But recently, a new study has me a bit nervous:

=====================From Reuters==========
Researchers Near Human Trials of Multiple Sclerosis  Drug

SYDNEY (Reuters) Mar 12 – A hormone that prevents a  pregnant woman’s immune system from attacking the  foetus may hold the key to halting autoimmune diseases  such as multiple sclerosis, Australian researchers  said on Tuesday.

The researchers said they hoped to begin phase I  clinical trials of a drug based on the hormone in  about a year.

An offshoot of Sydney’s University of New South Wales  and biotech firm CBio Ltd on Tuesday signed a deal to  produce enough Early Pregnancy Factor (EPF)–a  modified version of the naturally occuring protein–to  begin the toxicity tests.

CBio managing director Wolf Hanisch told Reuters  commercial production of EPF, if the trials are  satisfactory, would be 5 to 7 years down the road.

“This agreement brings CBio Ltd a step closer to  commercialising a drug that can solve one of the  biggest challenges in medical research–finding a  successful treatment for the autoimmune diseases which  afflict millions of sufferers around the world,” he  said.

Hanisch stressed that EPF was not a cure. It halts the  effects of autoimmunity rather than by identifying and  countering its source.

So far, it has shown good results in animal models of  multiple sclerosis, but the researchers have not  investigated it as a therapy for other diseases.

The university’s commercial offshoot, ACYTE Biotech  Pty Ltd, will now develop a production line to  manufacture large quantities of EPF, said ACYTE  executive director Peter Gray.
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Um…look, I think it’s fantastic that you guys have come up with this. Really.

But…PREGNANT hormones? Are you insane?

I’ve known a lot of pregnant women in my time. And they were ALL – every ONE of them – INSANE.

Sometimes it would manifest itself as rather harmless desires for odd foods. Other times, it would rear it’s head as mild fatigue. But then there were those times when their hormones would trigger some bio-chemical-physiological shift that would make them go on a tirade that would put Mr. Hyde to shame! After downing about five pints of Ben & Jerry’s, they’d hijack buses and go on twelve-state shopping rampages that would leave store clerks across the nation BADLY SHAKEN.

Here’s an army story for you – when I was stationed in Panama, a friend’s wife was badly pregnant. We’re talking serious condition here – she was about 5 feet tall, with heels on, and her belly was arriving in the room a full three hours before she would get there. She was VERY pregnant. While she was walking downtown in Panama city, some dipshit local hoodlum tried to steal her purse. SHE BROKE HIS ARM IN TWO PLACES. And she wasn’t even trying! Can you imagine what she’d do to someone that didn’t clean up his dishes after dinner? Or left his dirty clothes on the floor? Or – God forbid – ate the last of the Ben & Jerry’s?

Folks, I’m not making this stuff up – pregnant women are God’s punishment on us men for making them pregnant. They feel constantly bloated, achy, self-conscious, and pretty much miserable. AND THEY ALL KNOW IT’S OUR FAULT. Pregnant women are time-bombs, waiting for the opportunity to explode into devastating action that will leave us broken and bloody, and our freezers completely devoid of any sweets.

Sigh. Okay, okay, I’m over-reacting. This is a great thing, and a very promising announcement; Kwipette and I have been following the releases about this for some time now, and we’re eager to see the facts about it after it’s been through some clinical trials.

But researchers – if you’re looking at hormones, couldn’t you check the ones that make women…you know…randy? I mean, think about it – this medicine halts the debilitating effects of MS AND increases the “mood”? Holy jeebus! I couldn’t WAIT to get Kwipette signed up on that medicine! Never mind Love Potion Number 9; I want Beta-Seron Number 9! 😉

NeenerNeener.net Recognized as Top Fund-Raisers (and dead sexy!)

Kwipette and I got free dinner! Yippee!
Well, tell them what for, mook! –Kwipette

Oh, yeah – the details. Well, check this out, froods: remember back in April when I asked for everyone’s help? Well, as I reported before, you guys came through and kicked some mega ass, and tonite we gots the plaques to prove it, baby!

The MS Society had an awards banquet to honor it’s teams from the MS Walk of 2001. I’m proud to report that Team NeenerNeener.net took home not one, not two, but THREE awards (and a ton of those little flavored crackers which then wound up smashed into a paste in my pocket).

Our team was the top Family and Friends fundraiser, the highest team-member average, and was one of the first to be inducted into the new “Five-Figure Club”.

For a small group that included a fat man in a cow suit, I have to say I’m pretty proud of how we did. None of it would have mattered a hill of beans without the help of everyone that pledged to us, mind you – so this is actually another desperate attempt to thank all you froods and beg you to pledge to us again this year!

But I’m kind of worried – last year I tried to come up with something rather outrageous I would do if we got a certain amount of money. If I had gotten 10k in pledges, I was going to jump out of a plan or go bungee-jumping or something equally guaranteed to have me shrieking like a girl and capturing it for the masses on video. (Un)fortunately, I only received something like 8.5k in pledges – which was still a hell of a lot, don’t get me wrong, but merely had me dressing up in a cow suit. A heavy cow suit, as it would turn out, not at all suited for the unseasonably warm (84 degrees!) day we had. That suxored big time – oh, it was fun and all, but I don’t think they’ll ever remove the Kwip stink from THAT particular cow suit ever again.

So now what am I going to do this year?

I’ve got to top last year; that’s all there is to it. I may not be wearing a cow suit, although I grew rather fond of it (that’s just ’cause they had to use paint thinner to get it off me after wearing that sucker for four miles). But I have to do something attention-drawing…hrmmm…any suggestions? The cow suit idea came from one of you fans last year, so I’m hoping there’s another creative person out there with an idear or two they’d be willing to share (and no, I’m not allowed to get roaring drunk before the walk either – I know, I know, rules rules rules. What can you do?).

Even better news this year is that the course is NOT going to be through the lovely broken-cement and cobblestone sidewalks of Lancaster that make pushing a wheelchair OH so much fun…grr… I’m trying to convince Kwipette to let us take scooters on the walk, but she won’t hear any of that. Hrmph. Run over ONE small child on your scooter, and you’re marked for life! Bleh.

Anywhoots, keep watch here; I’ll post more info about the walk as I learn more. One of the things I’m definately thinking about doing this year is making a raffle for all the sponsors – something like every 10 bucks you donate gets you one entry or something. I’ve still got some autographed boxes of AC that the Turbinites were froody enough to donate (I didn’t get them in time for the last walk, so we’re gonna use them this time). Plus, I’ve got a couple other goodies lying around (yeah, you just KNOW you want an official “Yellow Rat Bastard” dirty sock with authentic Stink-O-Rama Realistic OdorTM!